I had plans today, with Red and Lady. Well, more Lady, really. I was going to sleepover and hang out with her, and then Red was going to join us the next day. But did I go? Nope. I had a terrible flare up, and I felt exhausted and everything hurt from my head to my joints to my muscles. My back was even tight and felt pinched in at least three places.
I guess its not a huge deal, the girls know that I'm ill and that some days I just can't do things, and the weather wound up being terrible so in the end I guess it was ok, but I still hate it.
Worse, I've realized I need to buy a shower chair. I can't stand for more than a few minutes in the hot shower without getting dizzy, and trying to get back up from sitting down in there is a nightmare. Red offered to find out if her parents kept her grandma's old shower chair, and I just felt ill. Not that it wasn't kind of her to offer, but I just... don't want to feel this way.
I need to get another job, fast. I'm quickly running out of money and I need to pay rent soon and then two months worth of utilities. I ran out of milk and a few other things, and I know that it can hurt my disability case but what else can I do? I feel so trapped...