Physical therapy blues and new things on the horizon...

I haven't blogged enough, despite the desire too, I just haven't felt clear headed, or focused enough.

I admit, part of this disatraction was my games. I was recently gifted with Bioshock 1 and 2 on steam, and set myself to beating the first of them. The other part is male related, and of course, I've started physical therapy. I've had more overall energy in a day, lately, but my cognitive functions have been below normal levels. Meh.

I have a new doctor, and she seems nice and knowledgeable. She also set up the beginnings of my physical therapy. We started out with land based work, but I both want and need aqua therapy so when that was finally sorted out they moved my land based therapy over to the same establishment, both to make it easier for me to go to and from, and also so it shows as one charge on my medical billing.

Speaking of, my food stamp card arrived, but I still haven't heard back about my Medicaid.

Anyway. My physio was good, overall, but pretty sobering. I'm supposed to have stronger muscles to support my weakened joints and keep them where they belong, but some strength tests showed I'm seriously weak and so my joints are actually compensating for my muscles. I also found out that my spine and neck are sloping because the muscles in my back are so weak they can't support my neck and spine. So now I spend a lot of time correcting my posture throughout my day. Not fun. The muscles in the middle of my back are SO tired and they hurt like CRAZY. It just amazes me how shocked I can make a physical therapist with my range of motion, and how weak my muscles are in the tests. One of the things she noticed is when I stand from a chair I use my hands to push myself up. I never noticed it til she pointed it out, but I also sit down using my hands to brace myself and lower myself. When she mentioned it, she asked me to try standing and sitting without my hands. It was a disaster. One of the other tests, I had to stand on one foot with my eyes closed. Apparently without my vision, I have almost no balance. Lovely.

On the flip side, my brother dragged me to a LAN event here in town, and I had a blast to be honest. More than that, I met this adorable handsome young man, nerd to the core which I adore. So turns out, he lives just down the street from me (practically) which is even better. So we've been hanging out a lot, and I've been getting to know him. I like him, which is both exciting, and dangerous. I know all too well how men think about women like me... we're burdens. Men don't look at me and see that I'm an independent woman who takes care of herself. They see someone who has to be taken care of, even if they don't need it.

I'm not jumping the gun here, but I can't help but think about it. I don't want to get attached to someone who might just leave... though he may not the seem the type, people always surprise me.

I think I already like him too much, and I couldn't help it if I tried...